About a week or so ago, our church had communion. We practice open communion–if you believe in Christ as savior and have repented of your sins, we welcome you to partake with us, regardless of denominational affiliation. At the service I was at, they set out the juice and crackers on tables to let us spend time in prayer/meditation and then shuffle through to take communion at your own pace.

My point though, has to do with the internal workings of communion. Specifically, that Sunday I felt guilty partaking: part of me didn’t want to at all. I hadn’t had a very “holy” week. I’d struggled with a few areas of sin, messed up a couple times, and generally had a very selfish/self-serving time of things. I was just thinking that I didn’t deserve to take communion when it hit me…I was in a better position to benefit from it at that point than a lot of people who were glibly crunching those soup crackers and sipping their grape juice. (by this I don’t mean I was better than them by any means, but that the Holy Spirit had just revealed to me a glimpse of the whole meaning behind the action–read on and you’ll see)

You see, it’s only in light of sin that the phrase “do this in remembrance of me” really makes sense. It’s not a time to pat ourselves on the back for how well we’re doing, (because really, compared to the perfection we suck) nor a time for us to condemn ourselves for how miserable we’ve been (See Romans 8:1). It’s a time to remember Christ, and how his sacrifice means that our sins have been forgiven, and that He was willing to go to the cross to purchase our forgiveness–while we were yet sinners. My remorse over my sin was good, but to condemn myself for it was not. That Sunday I took communion remembering that Christ died for me knowing fully well that I’d never get it quite right here on earth. I thanked Him for Grace, and humbly (yet joyfully) asked for the strength to press on.

You don’t have to be perfect (or think yourself to be “a good person”) to take communion. In fact, if you do find yourself thinking that you’re worthy, I’d say you missed the whole point. Next time you take communion, rejoice in the fact that it’s a reminder that you’re not going to face judgement for the times you’ve failed.

What a breath of fresh air to a weary soul.